Spiders, Lizards, and Snakes, oh my!...

This post is going to make me sound like a wimpy girlie, so let me state for the record: I like the outdoors. I enjoy wandering out around fields and streams, seeing the sights and what kind of creatures I might come across. I DO NOT however like for the outdoors to come indoors.

It's like the pact that Hubby says he has with sharks-- "I don't go where they live, and they don't come where I live." I THOUGHT I had the same pact with snakes.

Until the other night...

I went out into the garage to the dryer, and when I turned around to come back into the house- there was a BIG GREEN SNAKE on the threshhold of the door, looking right at me. It had to be 4 feet long. Or 3 maybe.

"DEAR!!! Come HERRRRRE!!!" I shrieked shrilly.

So of course he comes and laughs at me, saying "It's just a little brown snake."

"It was a green snake, and it was BIG and looked at me in a menacing way!"

"Brown snakes can be green too, and it's harmless."

By this time it had slithered into the hot water heater closet, and Hubby said it would find its way back out, which I suppose it did. Or I hope it did. In the meantime I'm wondering where my posse of protective cats were and how the snake got past them. Some line of defense they were.

Then the next day....

I'm walking into our kitchen, and in the center of the room about 3 feet away dangling halfway down from the light fixture was a HUGE, BLACK, HAIRY jumping spider. He was about eye-level and wiggling his long spidery legs everywhere.

Now, spiders take me to a whole new level of wimpy girlie, bothering me a lot more than snakes. Do you remember in the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off when the sister (Jennifer Grey) kicks the principle in the face and then runs away screaming? That was me....

AAAaaaaaaaAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhhh! as I ran around the corner and out the front door of the house.

Unfortunately Hubby wasn't home, so I had to fight this battle myself. I grabbed a big can of Raid and bravely went back in the house. The spider had decended to the floor, so I aimed the Raid and gave it a quick spray which I thought would cause it to curl up on the spot. But this was no ordinary spider, it was a mutant spider that had built up a resistance to insecticides. I am not kidding on this, it RAISED UP ON ITS BACK LEGS AND RAN FULL SPEED TOWARDS ME WAVING ITS FRONT LEGS IN THE AIR THREATENINGLY. So I'm backing up and spraying the Raid directly at it the whole time, and the damn thing is still running at me!!! I must have sprayed half the can at him before he finally began his death throws. I then turned tail and ran out the door again, squealing at a pitch only the dogs could hear. I don't think I've ever hit that note before.

And then last night...

It's 2am and I finally go to bed and pull back the covers... and a little lizard runs across my pillow. Startled, I again give out a short shriek.

So what did I do next?

Well actually, I chased it down under the covers and scooped it up in my hand, and took him outside and set him free on the porch. And do you know what the difference is? Oh c'mon people, little lizards are cute! How could I be afraid of a sweet little lizard??

But still, I wish all this wildlife would stop coming in to visit!